Well as I pack my bag for tomorrow, I realize thats its almost done to get onto the transplant list. I head down to Toronto and stay in a hotel for 3 days to do the final little tests for double lung TX. Then apparently have to wait 2 weeks to hear from the transplant team to recieve my pager and see how they are gonna list me (as critical or non critcal....meaning I am stable enough to survive another year) Sounds pretty depressing when you say it that way.
I have been warned by other cfers that have gone thru the assesment process and the meetings I have where they dwell on all the negative outcomes and bad things that can happen during and post transplant. I seriously think all that negative puts people in a stumper and makes it harder for them to recover. I am just gonna hear what they say and think of how GREAT the outcome is gonna be. How life will change and be able to do things with out worrying about how long I have left in my portable o2 tank and not having to lug the damn thing around. How it will be nice and peaceful at bedtime without the o2 concentrater running away.....and running up my hydro bill!
I havent wrote much new stuff cause I just havent had the insperation or just plane ol writers block. Ive been trying to keep myself busy and such.
I have taken up reading which is odd for me seeing as I have only read 2-3 books in my whole life lol. but Im quiet impressed almost done my second book in less then a month. Wonder if it will keep up?
Reading is a nice hobbie Sean.. spoken from someone who used to read TONS and now barely ever. its peaceful, which is a great thing while waiting for lungs. I admire your outlook. You've adjusted to this part of CF really well it seems. I'm right there beside you cheering you on! :)
ReplyDeleteI think there are way more positives than negatives to think about--e.g. NOT lugging around 02 ever again. Good luck with the rest of your assessment! It's an exhausting process, but well worth it.
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