Today has to be about the worst day I have had in a long time. I woke up really late for work and had to rush out the door with no breakfast. Later on in the morning I learned that a good Cysta had lost her battle with an infection she had been fighting over a month with. She recieved her double lung transplant a week before me. We had met off a cf website previous and attended the same cf clinic. We also lived up north of the city in the same area. We created a bond and helped out each other thru things. I was her support through her waiting for her call as she was for me. I was so happy to hear that she had gotten her call and a chance at a new life. She was yound and deserved it! Then I week later I got my call, how amazing! We both recovered together on the transplant ward and did your physio rehab.
That may we both did the Great Strides walk in Barrie and were asked to be the ribbon cutters for the start of the first annual walk for cf.
She met a great man and fell in love. I was so happy for her. She got to go back to college and get backing into her nurse schooling. She did get to experience alot of things she didnt get to before transplant in such a short time, but indeed it was a short time and deserved longer on the earth. She had and was a true fighter and never gave up even at the end. Although I dont know the final details of what happened and am gonna leave it at that, her family has enough to deal with at the moment of loosing their twin daughter/sister. She is now up looking down on all us sending us her strength she showed and breathing easy.
With all this happening, it shows how short life can be sometimes. I am just in awe and has really scared me. What to say this could happen to me today,next week or months from now. It can happen so fast. I know know why when im meeting someone to date and I mention I have CF they just turn and run. There is not enough strong women out there, what ever happened to love triumphs all?
I wish I didnt have to work and be able to just go out and enjoy life and explore new things and new adventures instead of wasting my time working 5 days a week.
I just dont know anymore, feel like life is passing me by and that anyday I could not be here or get so sick that I cant do anything and wish I could of.
RIP Allison I will always remember the times and talks we have had, you can now breath easy beautiful women.
Sometimes I feel that you are the type that should be traveling. The type to just pick up a hiking bag with the necessities and go. Something I'd love to do one day, and if I didn't have children I might have been doing right now!! LOL I guess what I'm saying is that it's easier when you don't have the obligations - although you may have obligations I don't know about too!
ReplyDeleteLuv ya budd
It is so sad when we lose a life time friend we have made in our fight to survive. She had so much going for her and her life was just beginning. She can now breathe easy, and watch over us all. Her family must be hurting so much at this time, especially her twin sister. You say you wish didn't have to work and just be able to enjoy life. Well I am now. I started my Canada Pension when I was unable to work anymore pre transplant and Long Term Disability through my work. I have decided to go after my pension through work now. Life is too short not to be able to enjoy it. Like you said we have no idea how long we will be on this earth, and I want to enjoy my time here. I worked for Canada Post in the office, so germs would be abundant there, life is too important to risk it for money. It scares me as well when I hear of a lose of someone who has had a transplant, it is too close to home for us. So enjoy your life, live each day to it's fullest,and is you want to be able to enjoy, perhaps look into your Disability Canada Pension. There may be a way for you to do it, if you look hard enough.
ReplyDeleteSean I'm so sorry to hear about Alison. Although I only met her briefly I know she was a good friend to you. I can't imagine how scary this must be for you sometimes.. But if you ever need a friendly ear, I, amongst others are here for you.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Cy, and you.. Life is too short. Maybe you could steal Matt-t-t's idea and go live on a boat? Or an RV?
Maybe you can try to sell your story? If you wanted to write it, I'd be happy to help edit. It could help get you out of the 9-5 world.
As far as women go, I still maintain that someone there that is willing to stick through thin and thin with you, and although you may disagree I'd rather see someone turn tail early in he game than possibly run scared at a time when you really really needed the support bad.
*Hugs*
Oh Sean, hearing this makes me sad too. I followed Allison's blog and her last post was in January and she had gotten sick. I have a twin sister as well so it was kind of a connection for me. She seemed like a nice person with a lot to offer the world.
ReplyDeleteI think we all go through "am I doing enough" and then getting a "Second Chance" just adds additional pressure. Remember, what you are is enough. Keep putting yourself out there and new opportunities will come. Hugs to you!!